Saturday, July 3, 2010 ♥ 3:25 PM
went to the fridge and get a packet of sticky sweet, thinking that the smiley rock will make me smile too. the next moment it feel and the sweet broke into pieces, end up it doesnt make me smile the way i thought i would. how irony.suddenly i felt i wasnt the georgina i used to be. i wasnt living for myself. i was living for others and being georgina for others. where did my old self went? i had no idea about it. but i guess i probably lost my soul to someone lose my rights to someone. i am probably a slave of someone now. enslaved to him. because all i could think of was just him, whether he was doing well or whether he had done his things. everything was mainly him. and what about myself? my stuff. its probably in the refrigerator rotting away.some people say there are people who do things to hard. and people who tried hard to do things. which are you? i tried really hard to do the things to pleased him. but i end up hurting myself. which concludes, i am a loser, i lost everything, my mind, my heart my soul, my rationality, my senses and even my * blank blank*. i lose all to you. hoping to trade for more time with you. but i guess i ended up giving them away. because everyone have 24 hours. you spend 20 hours doing your job and everything 4 hours to sleep. whats left for me? why cant every relationship be like the start of the relationship, where it is always nice and sweet always sticking together. whereas now it seems like two N poles trying to get together but it ended up repelling each other.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------yesterday was your birthday and all i wanted to do was to finally spend sometime together, but end up you are always full of other things. doing your god stuff, your previous workplace stuff when 1 week ago you promise to keep that day for me.. maybe i was selfish i dont like to share things with people i dont like to share you with other people especially your birthday, but since i started sharing with your godmum. i thought i could at least still have half a day together but end up even half an hour solo time together i also dont have. when you land your lips on mine before you leave i felt like crying even though i tried really hard to be cheerful. maybe i tried to hard. maybe i should try harder.today i cabbed over to your place as i was too worried you will not be able to make it for making your license on time. then i realise you werent even at home at all. you didnt even replied my message, am i being petty to be upset or i am supposed to be. sometime you will tell me to think far but i tried really hard thinking far but all i see was that you wouldnt have any time left for me. while you claim that we will have more time.
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